Day 189

Today has just been one thing after another, with spreadsheets not tallying, VPN failures, worries about children, a seemingly unending flood of emails, simultaneous phone calls, etc etc. But I am here now, and the day is moving to an end of sorts, and I’ve finally found a bit of time to sit down and focus. Still not the same as sitting on the sun lounger in the shade of G’s caff, and listening to the burbling voices around me, and watching the people.

I’ve come round to thinking, just now actually, that the two weeks of writing in Crete were akin to the old days when I could sit in coffee shops and smoke and write and watch people. That it’s actually the act of watching people that helps me to write rather than sitting in this sterile office (as in there being no other people around), and trying to think of words. The thing is, the way someone you’re watching bends over, or the way someone moves a leg, or the way they gesture when they speak, or a certain inflection, even of words you don’t understand, from over your shoulder, or the way a wave its the shore, or a gust of wind pushes a wave or a tree or an object – all these things can create new word patterns in your head, can make you suddenly link two or three seemingly unconnected words and turn them into a new sentence. In this office, in front of a big screen, none of that applies. I can hear the odd pigeon sound outside, but other than that nothing. And the thing about having written on a phone screen is that your peripheral vision can pick up all these other visual cues while you’re actually writing. I don’t really know why I’ve never thought of that before.

Radio was fun this morning, if only because it distracted me from some of the less positive thoughts I was having. And is was lovely to have live interactions with people listening again. It was pretty exhausting standing up for three hours to do the show, after effectively three weeks of sitting on my backside, but that just goes to show how good standing up to do things actually is for you. Tomorrow is Radio Stradbroke Music Day, so I’ll be wending my way down there (although I can’t stay for the whole thing), and then maybe I can refocus properly on what I’m trying to achieve (have to achieve) both on the day job front and on the writing front. And maybe catch some of all that breath I’ve lost over the last three days of non-stop activity and worry. Having my first Zoom with Colonel L in 3 weeks has helped, too. He always manages to put things in perspective for me. And hopefully, I shall be able to read his latest letter (which was waiting for me when we got back on Tuesday night) at leisure, because a letter is a gift, and not something to be rushed.

A final note on the politics I spoke about yesterday – my instinct has been proven right, and many people have now finally realised that we are in a situation where an unconstitutional coup is a clear and present danger.

AGGIE’S ART OF HAPPINESS – CHAPTER 142