Richard Pierce

Richard Pierce – author, poet, painter

Poetry, Writing

40/2023

She laid out her sketchpad and pencils,
Half-hidden from the masculine shape on
The dais at the centre. He was never averse
To taking his clothes off in public, and
Even though it was only the two of them
In the room, his vanity won out over
That disappointment. He flexed his muscles
And smiled. She took one sharpened pencil,
Flung it at him, his eye the target. He was
Dead before he hit the ground. Only now
Did she start to draw him.

R 09/02/2023 14:00

Today’s #MastoPrompt was #averse. I’ve had to edit down the original to fit in with the character restrictions. The full version is this:

She laid out her sketchpad and pencils
On the small table next to the easel which
Half hid her from the masculine shape on the
Dais at the dentre of the room. He was never
Averse to taking his clothes off in public,
And even though it was only the two of them
In the room, his vanity won out over
The disappointment of not having a bigger
Audience. He flexed his muscles and smiled
At her. She took one sharpened pencil and
Fung it at him like a knief. It entered his
Eye, and he was dead before he hit the ground.
Only now did she start to draw him.

R 09/02/2023 10:24

It’s an interesting exercise, condensing what is already a condensed form into something shorter. I think both versions have their own strengths, the second one, in my view, having a stronger narrative and context, the first being more abstract, almost. Both could just be a lead-in stanza to something much longer and more involved, something that builds a back story to explain why she does what she does, and a denouement which could either be gross or just the story of some kind of primitive justice done and how she gets away with it, and how lightened she feels by it. Who knows if I’ll ever get round to writing any of those extended stories. Just goes to illuminate what I always say about a poem – it’s a novel on one page.

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