Day 147

I’m starting this before I go on air in 25 minutes, but I won’t have it finished by then. I’ve been at my desk since 06:50, and have already achieved much, which is a relief after a couple of days when I’ve found it difficult to get up before 7, and when I’ve felt the day has gone before I’ve even got started. Nothing to do with putting pressure on myself – just everything to do with the feeling that time is going twice as quickly as I’m used to.

Yesterday, I spent a lot of time thinking about how normalised the illegal war in Ukraine is becoming (maybe I’ve said this before, but how can any war be legal?). 93 days it’s been going on. And all the illegal other wars in the world for even longer. It is difficult not to feel hopeless in the light of all this, and this morning (and last night) part of me feels just like hiding away from it all. But that’s what the powers that be actually want – for none of us to show to the courage to stand up against what they are doing. I have spoken about observational poetry and writing before, especially when the observations come not from being on the ground myself, but just from pictures I see on TV. And one observation is – what’s the point of obliterating a country you’re illegally conquering? Just to destroy the spirit of that country? Nonsensical power games that cost lives. It’s unbearable.

Five hours later 

My mouse stopped working one song into the show, which caused some hilarity, a lot of panic, the same song being played twice (If You Tolerate This by Manic Street Preachers), and a mad dash into the house to get a wired mouse and a battery for the wireless mouse. The wired mouse will from now on live in a drawer under the broadcast desk. Talking of which, I’m toying with the idea of actually building a broadcast desk in our bedroom on the shelves which currently house my vinyl. That would eliminate some clutter from A’s room (that she uses to broadcast from on Wednesdays), though it might cause some logistical issues. And I don’t think M would be happy to have it in any of the other rooms. Maybe I’ll just not do anything…

Straight from radio desk to work desk at 13:02, to delve into emails and respond.

Lawnmowers have come out in force in the gardens around me. Life goes on, apparently, in its usual jumble.

AGGIE’S ART OF HAPPINESS – CHAPTER 102